On Cheating

Every monogamous relationship has the same golden rule: Don’t cheat. However, the majority of people have done so. 

Oh, we all run around saying how awful it is and how we’d drop the person who did it to us like a hot coal. We get on our pedestals and pontificate how it is the ultimate betrayal of trust, that anyone who cheats is a horrible person with no moral compass, blah di blah blah. But every time we have that little niggling thought at the back of our heads “well, but…”

There are all sorts of mitigating circumstances we can think up: 

  • “It’s a long distance relationship and I have gone too long without intimacy (of any kind).”
  • “They cheated first.”
  • “I think they cheated first.”
  • “They’re probably going to cheat anyway.”
  • “I don’t know which one to choose.”
  • “It was a moment of weakness.”

You can have all the excuses you want. You can justify it to yourself all you want. However:

  • It makes you feel like shit. Even if the other person doesn’t ever find out, the amount of guilt you have to deal with is horrible. You feel sick, you feel sad; there’s always that niggling “remember that time when…” that poisons a lot of your interactions with that person.
  • It’s breaking a promise. When you agree to be someone’s partner, unless you are in an open relationship, you are making a promise to be with them and them alone. This shouldn’t be a piecrust promise.
  • It’s the height of disrespect. Not only to your partner, but to you and the person you cheated with as well. 
  • You hurt your partner deeply. That hurt stays with them for a while. Cheating on them damages their self worth and self esteem, and makes it difficult for them to trust people with their hearts again. 

That said, cheaters are not inherently bad people. They’re called mistakes. People make a lot of them, in case you hadn’t noticed. Yes, your significant other has a right to be angry with you. Yes, they have the right to dump you (clarification: they can dump you whenever, this just happens to be a pretty good reason). Mistakes have consequences, that’s the way it is in the real world, However, they don’t make you a terrible person, and messing around once doesn’t make you a serial cheater. 

So yes, cheating is bad. It will most likely end whatever relationship you happen to be in. There will be trust issues and completely justified anger. But the act of doing so does not make you a schmuck. Just…don’t do it again. Learn from the mistake, accept the consequences, and move on. 

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100 Things to Draw When Bored

4.   Goldilocks and The Three Penguins

5.   Thursday Addams

11.  When shoes attack

12.  Goth prom

13.  Ice Princess in the summer

14.  Mr. Potato Arm

17.  Square Dance Cuties

18.  Angry old man

22.  Soccer moms gone bad

23.  Glamour Don’t

26.  Kitten Conductors

30.  Bad hair day

31.  Cereal killer

33.  Smoking baby

38.  Costume party

39.  Organ grinder

42.  Bad dancer

43.  Elf vs Gnome

44.  Sacred hearts

46.  The thing under my bed

47.  Birds in Hats

50.  12 days of Christmas ‘strange style

52.  Cavewomen

56.  Eyeball

59.  Tattoo Art

60.  Gnaked Gnomes

63.  Creepy faces

67.  Wanna Be Guitar Hero

70.  Cute sushi

73.  One eyed girl

77.  Dancing Fool

86.  Eyeball tree

89.  Angry hula dancer

90.  Dancing Queen

92.  Man Bites Dog

93.  Bad puppet

94.  Krampus pays a visit

95.  Rowdy Royals

96.  Babies in a cheerleading pyramid

97.  A ballerina’s lunch

99.  Mad scientist

100.    Cheese snob

Source: http://www.wonderstrange.com/2012/100-things-to-draw-when-you-are-bored-2012-edition/

Paper Poppies

There is a place in the back of my mind where bad dreams fear to go. 

There is a place in the back of my mind where nary a wind will blow. 

Where there are no lies, not thunder, or rain,

Where there is no lightning, no rage, no pain, 

There is a place in the back of my mind where the bad things will not grow. 

 

There is a place in the back of my mind where doubt and fear can’t stay

There is a place in the back of my mind where pain can never stray. 

Where the larks call and cry,

Where the sunset always lights the sky,

There is a place in the back of my mind where bad things fly away.

 

There is a place in the back of my mind where the paper poppies grow high.

There is a place in the back of my mind where the crosses in rows lie.

Where the peaceful sky cannot break,

Where all the dead dreams cannot wake,

There is a place at the back of my mind where sacred dreams go to die. 

 

(c) F. Dill

Welcome To The Wilderness

You said you wanted to try and decipher my mind. Welcome to the wilderness my dear. Beneath the long hair is a forest of convoluted words and images, sometimes mixed in with the occasional sound, the odd strain of violins, the single note of a piano. Welcome to the world of my mind, where half-formed thoughts stay as stunted bushes, but if nurtured can grow into great trees woven of such odd words as ‘adnascentia’ and ‘squish’ and strange, unearthly chords. Sometimes they grow into doodle trees, which, when processed by the more rational  area of my mind, begin to bloom on such things as biology or math papers, sometimes even in between the notes on manuscript paper. Out of this tangled jungle I attempt to ensnare the right words to make you a gift of, the right letters to make you smile, to catch you off guard with.

You said you wanted to try and decipher my mind. The doors are open. All you have to do now is find them.

“Maybe we shoul…

Quote

“Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A beauty bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air – explode softly – and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth – boxes of Crayolas. And we wouldn’t go cheap either – not little boxes of eight. Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest. And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination.”

 – Robert Fulghum

Friends, Romans, Countrymen,

Lend me your ears, for I have a tale to tell. 

Of quirks and quacks and verbal attacks

Of beaches, boats and shells.

 

Of meanderings by moonlight, 

Of the lonely sea and sky

Of forest ponds and fairies’ wands

And actors paid to lie.

 

Of the towering blocks of skyscrapers

And the little men they hide

Of smash, of bash, and lots of cash,

And their racks and racks of ties.

 

Of those who fly the rainbow, 

Of those who would not be told

Of wrong, of right, of pointless fights,

That were in some book of old.

 

Of those who told their story,

Of those who fought their fight,

Not with swords and guns but barbs and puns

And earned freedom in their own right.

 

For all the women whose skirts were too short

For the men who frightened the rest

For the gays, the girls, and the 99%

Let me put these matters to rest